sophie.
pau.
lee.
thesartorialist.
paris[[easyfashion]].
wetseal.
threadless
FML.
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Decisions, Decisions.
These past few days have been filled with decisions. Usually, I find myself stressing over huge decisions...ones that I know are gonna have a big impact on my life. But the decisions I've had to make these past few days have ranged from frivolous to normal..and I'm so happy that they are. There are very few instances when I am overcome with a strange sense of ungratefulness for the life I have aas well as an overwhelming desire to have one filled with normalcy. You know, to have a life where your close friends are the same close friends you've had since you can remember, the kind of life where you know what to say when people ask you where your hometown is...or at least, where your home is, a kind of life where you know what it's like to truly miss people.
Yeah, you read it right. You would think all this moving has made me so accustomed to the feeling of missing people....and maybe, you're right. But it could also be like those times when you have grown so accustomed to a certain type of pain (or any circumstance really) that it becomes embedded in a sense of normalcy. I guess that's what happened to me. I've known the feeling of missing someone so well...i've experienced it so many times that I don't know what it feels like anymore. Isnt that totally horrible? But it doesnt make me immune to wishing that those same people were here right beside me.
Anyway, back to my frivolous and superficially adolescent decisions:
1. Sidekick or LG xenon?
2. Mac or Dell?
3. What classes to take?
4. What job to take?
5. To study AP Calc or not?
Well, 3 and 4 arent exactly frivolous...but you get the idea.
I have always believed that life is marked by circumstance but formed by the decisions we make...hopefully I and all of you guys are making the right ones---in both the frivolous and the not so frivolous opportunities in our life. :)
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some deep insight on life...
after a lot of philosophical thought and internalized reflection I have come to the conclusion that:
boys are either stupid or just plain ass holes.
some of them, however, are both.
LOL...explanation later.
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|
gone are the days we could be called kids.
So today, I woke up pretty late and had to dress up very quickly for breakfast cause I knew that Kevin, Justine and Charmaine were gonna arrive around lunch. It was good talking to them...virtually no awkwardness..THANK GOD. Kevin's taking the same course as me which I found so coincidential...oh, and he has jobs at good stores which makes me hate him lol. After going outside for awhile we went back in and bummed in the basement. Justine, abby, danica, charmaine and I started playing texttwist while we let kevin, ryan and the rest get their own computers. Later on, I just watched some dance videos with kevin until dana, edwin and joji came.
We just did completely random stuff until the afternoon. The rest of the day consisted in watching this world war II documentary with dad and a few other things.
Today, I have come to two realizations about 2 different people. I can't say what those are cause I still dont know who exactly reads my blog, so allow me to vague.
1. Im done with it. She can rest easy, cause I've realized you're sooo not worth it.
2.I was right, there was a reason you were acting the way you did. A part of me feels I should be pissed because I wish we could have just avoided everything...but the other part of me grew up. I'm gonna help you through this. We arent those little kids anymore who would cry when things didnt go our way and then completely avoid the situation...completely avoid the person. But not this time, I'm tired of running. I'm gonna stand by you even though I'm dead scared.
to everyone else: you learn so much when you step outside of yourself, even just for awhile.
....try it some time.
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today, we remember.
So today, is memorial day. Well sort of, it's memorial day weekend. Im still not exactly sure which of the 3 days is the actual holiday. Memorial Day isnt the only reason as to why today is a day worthy of celebration...or at least, occasion. Today marks the first 30 days of my family's new life in Virginia. Now that the day has virtually come to an end, I think it's safe to say that this day will be one I'm gonna remember.
I woke up early today thinking that we were gonna go to the 10am mass so that we have enough time to prepare for the MD barbeque. Unfortunately, I later found out that we were gonna go to the noon mass instead. After mass, the first few guests started to arrive. Since there was no one I really knew there just yet I went downstairs with abby to check my mail and stuff. Ok, now I'm going to go into a very pathetic and confusing rant...you guys wont know what im talking about, and that's the way I like it, haha sorry.
--seriously, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? You are being SUCH AN ASS. Im trying to tell myself that there is some reasonable explanation as to why all these things are happening and why you're MAKING all these things happen but seriously, it's getting really hard to have faith in you with how you've been acting the past few days. Maybe, you really are an ass...but a part of me thinks that you're just being the smarter one of the two of us...and for that, I guess I should thank you.
Ok, ANYWAY, back to the barbeque. When I went back up I saw that Dana, Edwin, Joji, Ryan and Danica were already there. The first 2 hours or so were EXCRUCIATINGLY awkward and quiet...like, i seriously just wanted to sleep (not naman die hahah). But then I decided to go outside and play with little abby. So people started following and the awkwardness passed...sort of. But then after a few minutes of playing in the rain my parents made me come back in and so we all went inside and started eating random stuff. After that, we played Red Dog (I think that's what you call it) which is this really fun gambling game. Watching people bet it all and lose it all was the funniest...I gotta get luckier before our next hangout :))
After that, we just did random stuff like play Wii (or watch people play Wii lol), listen to someone playing the guitar, card tricks, and a whole bunch of stuff. We also had this dance off thing which was cool which broke most of the ice. We also started doing gymnastics...HAHA weird...yes, even the guys. Basically, this part of the day was THE BEST. I had so much fun. However, I also noticed some tension between two people which kindof made things weird but I think most of us just tried to tune it out...even the two involved. After that, Dana, Ryan, Danica and Edwin invited us to watch Night at the Museum with them. When i asked the father, he said no. So I'm very very pissed right now.
See, this is exactly what happens. This is how our freedom has been stunted all these years. Since we're always moving, we always have to restart. Suddenly, my parents have justication to be extra cautious with us...they have justification to treat us like toddlers again. If my dad only knew how I've been DYINNGGGG for a good time. Yes, they took me shopping yesterday and Yes, I hang out with the people from the neighborhood practically every afternoon...but all those times have been somewhat near my family or near my parents. Look, I love my family so so so much...but spending A WHOLE MONTH with just them is SUFFOCATING me.
I need an escape.
I need time to think, air to breathe, and space to be.
Thank God the group from today is coming back here tomorrow...if something goes wrong and they can't come, I might go crazy...
...I'm soo serious.
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WTF
Please, just stop. :\
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While walking on the main road...
I walked into...or rather, crashed into...a huge sign post.
Mom caused a scene cause she said it coudlve cut my face
Dad and sisters kept asking how I couldve missed such a huge thing
..they say laughter is the best medicine, they're right, I didn't feel a thing. ;)
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On the move.
Ok, I have realized two things:
1. My last blog was so crappy. I think all the Pacman hype clogged my mind and possibly my writing ability...so sad.
2. I have not blogged about the move.
April 23 had finally come. I had very mixed emotions about everything. The past few weeks had been filled with despedidas, parties and bonding..basically giving me every possible reason to want to stay in the Philippines. At the same time, I couldn't wait and believe that it was happening. I was actually moving. After all the ups and downs, it was finally happening...but old habits die hard, so I told myself that I wouldn't believe I was moving until I got on the plane.
Here's the rundown:
THE MORNING was spent opening all our luggage and boxes and trying to get rid of anything we could in an attempt to stay under the weight limit at the airport. Mother gave us the wrong figures yesterday haha.
LUNCH: Slumdog millionare and photosession with the cousins!
DRIVING OFF: Seeing everyone crying from my car window made me reazlie that I loved my family so much. Yes, the same family with all the scandals, drama and all the insults about my weight...I loved them and wished with all my heart that when I returned to the Philippines, they would all still be there...exactly the way I left them.
HOURS BEFORE TAKEOFF: Check-in. Last Hurrah with the friends at shakeys, phone calls from a bunch of people, and overdose of soups, water and juice cause I had the flu (NO, not swine flu lol). Oh, and I got bumped to business class cause I was sick haha.
BUSINESS CLASS: On my way back from the bathroom, I smacked my head on an open compartment. The impact was so hard I actually took two steps back HAHAHA.
SAN FRANCISCO NIGHT 1: I got off the plane and saw these big guys in suits with police detail waiting for someone on our plane...after a couple of minutes I realized they were for my family. LOL. I love those guys. They help us to cut in line at immigration, get all our luggage for us, and protect us...from who knows what. Got to see a lot of familiar faces while freezing at the airport but warmed myself with some yummy In-N-Out. :D
SAN FRANCISCO MORNING 1: Went downtown and visited NDV.Talked to Mr. Tsokas, Mrs. Renzi, Mrs. Pantaleoni, Ms. Ghisolfo and some of abby's friends. It felt so good to be back.
EVERYTHING ELSE: landed in Texas, left texas, arrived in Virginia. We slept most of the flight so we didnt get to eat much...good too, cause I still find airplane food disgusting. When we arrived in Tito Jeff's place they fed us Kare Kare...sooo good, food tastes a whole lot better at an ungodly hour. :)
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YOU'RE MY MAN, PACMAN.
I absolutely love love love Pacquaio matches! I love the adrenalin, the hype, the excitement....EVERYTHING. In the Philippines, I had become so accustomed to having watch parties with family and friends. I love how practically the entire country would stop anything and everything they were doing just to catch the match. The lines at all the pizza joints would be ringing off the hook, all the beer and chips at the grocery would be gone and practically every person in the country would be hudled around a television..big or small to watch.
I honestly thought that moving to the United states again meant the end of the Pacquaio era for me. In fairness, it wouldnt be that bad considering that the last match i watched was against Oscar De LaHoya...which was an incredible match (for Pacman, at least haha). But obviously, i thought that since my dad's friends would be half way around the world and because of the time difference and all I wouldnt get to watch anymore. thankfully, i was so so so wrong. Turns out, te watching experience here is even better!
Due to the time difference, the matches here are at around midnight. But that doesnt mean that any of the proud filipinos here are gonna miss the chance to see pacman. I left Grian's house at 5pm to go to Dana's for dinner. At Dana's house, we had very very yummy food and saw a lot of familiar faces. I went downstairs with Abby and met Jio, Dana, Danica, Edwin and Joji for some Wii. It was so much fun...played tennis, super mario kart, this monkey thing, and a whole bunch of stuff. After that, abby and I went back to Grian's.
Now, Grian's living room is FILLED with a bunch of proud pinoys (the gang from earlier in the afternoon included) ready to watch Pacquiao. The chips are open on the coffee table and people are passing around pastilias (haha in true filipino fashion), I love this! About an hour left to the fight and the excitement here is so incredible.
LET'S GO PACMAN!!! WOOT WOOT!
....I'm so not quitting this in college. Pacquaio Dorm Party!!! hahaha
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Decisions, Decisions.
These past few days have been filled with decisions. Usually, I find myself stressing over huge decisions...ones that I know are gonna have a big impact on my life. But the decisions I've had to make these past few days have ranged from frivolous to normal..and I'm so happy that they are. There are very few instances when I am overcome with a strange sense of ungratefulness for the life I have aas well as an overwhelming desire to have one filled with normalcy. You know, to have a life where your close friends are the same close friends you've had since you can remember, the kind of life where you know what to say when people ask you where your hometown is...or at least, where your home is, a kind of life where you know what it's like to truly miss people.
Yeah, you read it right. You would think all this moving has made me so accustomed to the feeling of missing people....and maybe, you're right. But it could also be like those times when you have grown so accustomed to a certain type of pain (or any circumstance really) that it becomes embedded in a sense of normalcy. I guess that's what happened to me. I've known the feeling of missing someone so well...i've experienced it so many times that I don't know what it feels like anymore. Isnt that totally horrible? But it doesnt make me immune to wishing that those same people were here right beside me.
Anyway, back to my frivolous and superficially adolescent decisions:
1. Sidekick or LG xenon?
2. Mac or Dell?
3. What classes to take?
4. What job to take?
5. To study AP Calc or not?
Well, 3 and 4 arent exactly frivolous...but you get the idea.
I have always believed that life is marked by circumstance but formed by the decisions we make...hopefully I and all of you guys are making the right ones---in both the frivolous and the not so frivolous opportunities in our life. :)
|
|
some deep insight on life...
after a lot of philosophical thought and internalized reflection I have come to the conclusion that:
boys are either stupid or just plain ass holes.
some of them, however, are both.
LOL...explanation later.
|
|
gone are the days we could be called kids.
So today, I woke up pretty late and had to dress up very quickly for breakfast cause I knew that Kevin, Justine and Charmaine were gonna arrive around lunch. It was good talking to them...virtually no awkwardness..THANK GOD. Kevin's taking the same course as me which I found so coincidential...oh, and he has jobs at good stores which makes me hate him lol. After going outside for awhile we went back in and bummed in the basement. Justine, abby, danica, charmaine and I started playing texttwist while we let kevin, ryan and the rest get their own computers. Later on, I just watched some dance videos with kevin until dana, edwin and joji came.
We just did completely random stuff until the afternoon. The rest of the day consisted in watching this world war II documentary with dad and a few other things.
Today, I have come to two realizations about 2 different people. I can't say what those are cause I still dont know who exactly reads my blog, so allow me to vague.
1. Im done with it. She can rest easy, cause I've realized you're sooo not worth it.
2.I was right, there was a reason you were acting the way you did. A part of me feels I should be pissed because I wish we could have just avoided everything...but the other part of me grew up. I'm gonna help you through this. We arent those little kids anymore who would cry when things didnt go our way and then completely avoid the situation...completely avoid the person. But not this time, I'm tired of running. I'm gonna stand by you even though I'm dead scared.
to everyone else: you learn so much when you step outside of yourself, even just for awhile.
....try it some time.
|
|
today, we remember.
So today, is memorial day. Well sort of, it's memorial day weekend. Im still not exactly sure which of the 3 days is the actual holiday. Memorial Day isnt the only reason as to why today is a day worthy of celebration...or at least, occasion. Today marks the first 30 days of my family's new life in Virginia. Now that the day has virtually come to an end, I think it's safe to say that this day will be one I'm gonna remember.
I woke up early today thinking that we were gonna go to the 10am mass so that we have enough time to prepare for the MD barbeque. Unfortunately, I later found out that we were gonna go to the noon mass instead. After mass, the first few guests started to arrive. Since there was no one I really knew there just yet I went downstairs with abby to check my mail and stuff. Ok, now I'm going to go into a very pathetic and confusing rant...you guys wont know what im talking about, and that's the way I like it, haha sorry.
--seriously, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? You are being SUCH AN ASS. Im trying to tell myself that there is some reasonable explanation as to why all these things are happening and why you're MAKING all these things happen but seriously, it's getting really hard to have faith in you with how you've been acting the past few days. Maybe, you really are an ass...but a part of me thinks that you're just being the smarter one of the two of us...and for that, I guess I should thank you.
Ok, ANYWAY, back to the barbeque. When I went back up I saw that Dana, Edwin, Joji, Ryan and Danica were already there. The first 2 hours or so were EXCRUCIATINGLY awkward and quiet...like, i seriously just wanted to sleep (not naman die hahah). But then I decided to go outside and play with little abby. So people started following and the awkwardness passed...sort of. But then after a few minutes of playing in the rain my parents made me come back in and so we all went inside and started eating random stuff. After that, we played Red Dog (I think that's what you call it) which is this really fun gambling game. Watching people bet it all and lose it all was the funniest...I gotta get luckier before our next hangout :))
After that, we just did random stuff like play Wii (or watch people play Wii lol), listen to someone playing the guitar, card tricks, and a whole bunch of stuff. We also had this dance off thing which was cool which broke most of the ice. We also started doing gymnastics...HAHA weird...yes, even the guys. Basically, this part of the day was THE BEST. I had so much fun. However, I also noticed some tension between two people which kindof made things weird but I think most of us just tried to tune it out...even the two involved. After that, Dana, Ryan, Danica and Edwin invited us to watch Night at the Museum with them. When i asked the father, he said no. So I'm very very pissed right now.
See, this is exactly what happens. This is how our freedom has been stunted all these years. Since we're always moving, we always have to restart. Suddenly, my parents have justication to be extra cautious with us...they have justification to treat us like toddlers again. If my dad only knew how I've been DYINNGGGG for a good time. Yes, they took me shopping yesterday and Yes, I hang out with the people from the neighborhood practically every afternoon...but all those times have been somewhat near my family or near my parents. Look, I love my family so so so much...but spending A WHOLE MONTH with just them is SUFFOCATING me.
I need an escape.
I need time to think, air to breathe, and space to be.
Thank God the group from today is coming back here tomorrow...if something goes wrong and they can't come, I might go crazy...
...I'm soo serious.
|
|
WTF
Please, just stop. :\
|
|
While walking on the main road...
I walked into...or rather, crashed into...a huge sign post.
Mom caused a scene cause she said it coudlve cut my face
Dad and sisters kept asking how I couldve missed such a huge thing
..they say laughter is the best medicine, they're right, I didn't feel a thing. ;)
|
|
On the move.
Ok, I have realized two things:
1. My last blog was so crappy. I think all the Pacman hype clogged my mind and possibly my writing ability...so sad.
2. I have not blogged about the move.
April 23 had finally come. I had very mixed emotions about everything. The past few weeks had been filled with despedidas, parties and bonding..basically giving me every possible reason to want to stay in the Philippines. At the same time, I couldn't wait and believe that it was happening. I was actually moving. After all the ups and downs, it was finally happening...but old habits die hard, so I told myself that I wouldn't believe I was moving until I got on the plane.
Here's the rundown:
THE MORNING was spent opening all our luggage and boxes and trying to get rid of anything we could in an attempt to stay under the weight limit at the airport. Mother gave us the wrong figures yesterday haha.
LUNCH: Slumdog millionare and photosession with the cousins!
DRIVING OFF: Seeing everyone crying from my car window made me reazlie that I loved my family so much. Yes, the same family with all the scandals, drama and all the insults about my weight...I loved them and wished with all my heart that when I returned to the Philippines, they would all still be there...exactly the way I left them.
HOURS BEFORE TAKEOFF: Check-in. Last Hurrah with the friends at shakeys, phone calls from a bunch of people, and overdose of soups, water and juice cause I had the flu (NO, not swine flu lol). Oh, and I got bumped to business class cause I was sick haha.
BUSINESS CLASS: On my way back from the bathroom, I smacked my head on an open compartment. The impact was so hard I actually took two steps back HAHAHA.
SAN FRANCISCO NIGHT 1: I got off the plane and saw these big guys in suits with police detail waiting for someone on our plane...after a couple of minutes I realized they were for my family. LOL. I love those guys. They help us to cut in line at immigration, get all our luggage for us, and protect us...from who knows what. Got to see a lot of familiar faces while freezing at the airport but warmed myself with some yummy In-N-Out. :D
SAN FRANCISCO MORNING 1: Went downtown and visited NDV.Talked to Mr. Tsokas, Mrs. Renzi, Mrs. Pantaleoni, Ms. Ghisolfo and some of abby's friends. It felt so good to be back.
EVERYTHING ELSE: landed in Texas, left texas, arrived in Virginia. We slept most of the flight so we didnt get to eat much...good too, cause I still find airplane food disgusting. When we arrived in Tito Jeff's place they fed us Kare Kare...sooo good, food tastes a whole lot better at an ungodly hour. :)
|
|
YOU'RE MY MAN, PACMAN.
I absolutely love love love Pacquaio matches! I love the adrenalin, the hype, the excitement....EVERYTHING. In the Philippines, I had become so accustomed to having watch parties with family and friends. I love how practically the entire country would stop anything and everything they were doing just to catch the match. The lines at all the pizza joints would be ringing off the hook, all the beer and chips at the grocery would be gone and practically every person in the country would be hudled around a television..big or small to watch.
I honestly thought that moving to the United states again meant the end of the Pacquaio era for me. In fairness, it wouldnt be that bad considering that the last match i watched was against Oscar De LaHoya...which was an incredible match (for Pacman, at least haha). But obviously, i thought that since my dad's friends would be half way around the world and because of the time difference and all I wouldnt get to watch anymore. thankfully, i was so so so wrong. Turns out, te watching experience here is even better!
Due to the time difference, the matches here are at around midnight. But that doesnt mean that any of the proud filipinos here are gonna miss the chance to see pacman. I left Grian's house at 5pm to go to Dana's for dinner. At Dana's house, we had very very yummy food and saw a lot of familiar faces. I went downstairs with Abby and met Jio, Dana, Danica, Edwin and Joji for some Wii. It was so much fun...played tennis, super mario kart, this monkey thing, and a whole bunch of stuff. After that, abby and I went back to Grian's.
Now, Grian's living room is FILLED with a bunch of proud pinoys (the gang from earlier in the afternoon included) ready to watch Pacquiao. The chips are open on the coffee table and people are passing around pastilias (haha in true filipino fashion), I love this! About an hour left to the fight and the excitement here is so incredible.
LET'S GO PACMAN!!! WOOT WOOT!
....I'm so not quitting this in college. Pacquaio Dorm Party!!! hahaha
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this is why all movies should just be banned.
Decisions, Decisions.
some deep insight on life...
gone are the days we could be called kids.
today, we remember.
WTF
While walking on the main road...
On the move.
YOU'RE MY MAN, PACMAN.
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